I think Donkey said it best:
"I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'."
9: Virtual Vampires of Vermont: OOOH, they just gave me a computer virus!!!
8: Oregon Oceanauts: OOOH, this one is about... submarines? OKAY, WHAT?!?!?! Since when have submarines been scary?
I stand corrected.
7: Creepy Condors of California: OOOH, this one is about... a killer endangered species... what? Since when have birds been scary?
I stand corrected.
Eh, maybe.
I don't think so.
I still don't think so.
6: New York Ninjas: Okay, Ninjas? This isn't scary, this is just what little boys like! Ninjas aren't scary, they're just awesome!
5: Nebraska Nightcrawlers: Only R.L Stine was able to make worms creepy, and even then, he didn't make them giant!
I stand corrected. BUT, he only made ONE gigantic, and the rest just worked his way into his food and slowly ruined his life.
4: Oklahoma Outbreak: In this one, Rand actually makes "cooties" a real disease. Okay.
3: The Nevada Nightmare Novel: Yeah. Johnathan Rand was too lazy to come up with a title, so he just called it a scary book that takes place in Nevada.
That's like, right before Stephen King wrote The Shining, he instead decided to change it to The Novel About a Psychic Kid Whose Dad Goes Crazy in a Haunted Colorado Hotel.
2: Attack of the Monster Venus Melon!: And yeah, he actually put the exclamation point on there. Okay, wow. Just... wow. Not only is this thing from Venus, which has crushing pressure, sulfuric acid for air, and blazing hot temperatures, but it is also a FRUIT!!!! Yeah, because the so-called "Hell Planet" can support agriculture! Okay. Okay. When ever have vegetables been so scary?
I stand corrected.
AND THE NUMBER ONE MOST RIDICULOUS SOUNDING BOOK IS:
Vicious Vacuums of Virginia: Okay, wow. Just, wow. Does that even sound like it will even try to be a good book. OOOH, BEWARE OF THE..... vacuums?
I just can't resist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTwqmj1551E
Conclusions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzDqIvkexbM
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